”A new patch has added some new bosses to Final Fantasy XI, including the somewhat ridiculously resilient Pandemonium Warden. A guild named Beyond the Limitation attempted to take down the Warden, but had to quit after 18 Hours of combat. One of the guild leaders reported, “People were passing out and getting physically ill. We decided to end it before we risked turning into a horrible new story about how video games ruin people’s lives.” They estimated that it would have taken an additional five or six hours to beat the Pandemonium Warden, and had to question their abilities in the game. The boss changed forms every few hours, and when they finally decided to call it quits, the enemy was in it’s 20th form. They are also one of the only guilds to take down the highest-level boss in the game without glitching it, so they weren’t screwing up the Warden battle.”

Final Fantasy 

Four elemental Crystals, each possessing awesome power, lie scattered throughout the realm. However, men are quick to covet things which offer strength, and easily corrupted by the might which they possess. Seduced by the promised power of the Crystals, the kingdom of Baron begins employing unprovoked force to seize them from peaceful nations. The dark knight Cecil – Lord Captain of Baron’s elite force, the Red Wings – is ordered by his king to obtain the Crystals, but soon begins to question the monarch’s motives. Stricken with grief at his own actions, yet burdened by his loyalty to his country and his personal sense of honor, Cecil at last decides to turn from the path of darkness and destruction. Enraged, the king accuses him of disloyalty, strips Cecil of his command, and sends him off to slay a mysterious beast that lurks in the nearby Valley of Mist. Cecil embarks on a fateful journey that will bring trials, betrayals, friendship, loss and self-discovery. Can Cecil open his eyes and become the man of honor that he must be? Dive into the first RPG to incorporate the innovative Active Time Battle system, now further enhanced and refined for the Nintendo DS. Train and customize Whytkin by playing a variety of mini-games and challenge another player to head-to-head battle via local wireless connection.

Score= 9/10

The 80GB PlayStation 3 may be getting replaced by either a 120Gb or 160Gb model, according to the latest rumour doing the rounds. Remember the 80Gb? No, we don’t either, because we never had in the UK in the first place. The United States, however, does… or did… depending on who you read.

The sources for the rumour? First up is Ars Technica’s unnamed mole who mentioned, “Sony is, in fact, phasing out the 80GB PS3. Sony is going to stay with the two-SKU approach though, and the prices look to stay the same”.

Sounds paradoxical? Not really, if you then drop in the speculation that a 120Gb PS3 will be brought into play…

“The Spiderman 3 pack-in will disappear as well once the 80GB unit is gone. In order to maintain a similar value proposition to the 80GB/Spiderman 3 bundle, I expect to see a storage increase to 120 or 160GB at the same price point, plus the new Dual-Shock 3 controller…” the mole went on.

Ars Technica, is also able to support its own mole by quoting a Sony rep who said, , “We’re currently working with two SKUs in the market, and we don’t see that changing…”

But wait, why does the mole reference a bundle that doesn’t exist? Spider-Man 3 comes with the 40GB PS3, not the 80GB, which comes bundled with MotorStorm. You can see for yourself on the PlayStation website here. Is the mole indicating that the current 40GB bundle is also set to change? The way the sentence reads doesn’t seem to suggest so.

Next up for a turn in the rumour mill US retailer Best Buy and a leaked memo. The memo, dated January 22nd according to PS3Fanboy, states that the 80GB PS3 would no longer be manufactured and that once it had sold out only the 40GB model would be available in Best Buy shops.

“This means that there currently isn’t a version that is PS2-compatible”, the memo states.

It also indicates that 80GB would be taken off the company’s planogram (a diagram indicating where retail products should be displayed) on January 28th… today in fact.

Next piece of grist to the mill? A GameStop manager - going by the handle Kaizer_911, rather than a real name. He (or indeed she) told QJ.net, “I went ahead and looked in our Back Office Inventory screen and found that the only SKU listed as Active for the PS3 consoles (new ones that is) was the 40GB. The 20, 60, AND 80 GB SKUs were listed as Deleted.”

The removal of the 80GB PS3 from production, then, looks like a pretty good bet. It will also be far from surprising given that Sony has mentioned that the 40Gb is key to its strategy - we’re sure it said, “Going foward” as well, but what the hell.

Sony in Europe told us, “We have made it clear from the outset that this was our intention to focus all our efforts on our 40Gb machine going forward”….

Sony Japan has announced the withdrawal of the 20 and 60Gb SKUs - Japan never had an 80Gb SKU.

Similarly, comments last week from SCE CEO, Kaz Hirai, indicate that Sony’s strategy is very much geared towards the 40Gb PS3 in Japan.

However, SCEJ - just to be confusing - is also rumoured to be releasing new models, “…to respond to end-user preferences sometime in the future”.

SPOnG’s not entirely convinced we should listen to anybody at all on these matters until we see a press release in front of our eyes. Just a month and a half before the 80GB PS3 was announced for the US, a Sony rep went on record to say, “We’re constantly looking at new… configurations [for PS3], but currently there are no plans to change current hardware offerings [in North America].”

Nevertheless, SPOnG contacted Sony for comment, but no one was available at the time of press.

It seems to be a reasonable assumption that, should the 80GB PS3 be withdrawn from production, any replacement will lack backwards compatibility. It was, after all, stripped from the PS3 for the 40GB model and there have been recent indications that Sony may be interested in selling PS2 titles as ‘PlayStation 2 Originals’.

Score: 91

Now, it’s no secret that we didn’t really get on with the original Brain Training. It had too many glitches and seemed too limited beyond the initial novelty factor. But, unlike most movie sequels, this title just got an awful lot better.

More Brain Training has exactly the same premise as the original, of course, aiming to give you a few brain-stimulating mental exercises every day (because, after all, the developers just know you’re going to be sitting on the couch all day watching TV otherwise….! Hey, some of us use our brains in our work, you know?)

All the interface glitches from the original have been fixed and tidied and there’s more polish at every turn. The graphics are still bare bones, but clarity is the main thing here.

Although the opening menu’s the same, there are plenty of new brain exercises to try and unlock, from Word Blend, in which you try to recognise two or three spoken words played at the same time, to Memorize 5×5, in which you have to remember the positions of as many grid numbers as possible, to Masterpiece Recital, in which you match up keyboard and stave notes.

The difficulty levels are pitched just right and the new games/exercises make all the difference - More Brain Training is sooooo much ‘more’. Which is also borne out by the multi-player modes. With a single cartridge there are now four games to share and play, plus a new picture interpretation game that’s going to be a big hit at any party where there are multiple DS consoles.

Brain Training was an interesting idea, but flawed and limited. The sequel is near enough perfect - highly recommended for anyone, from 8 to 80.

Wii Fit has reclaimed the top spot in the UK all-formats chart, bending past last week’s winner, Soulcalibur IV, at two.

Following them are faces so familiar we suggest they form a family: Mario Kart Wii at three, Big Beach Sports at four, and Wii Play at five.

Store promotions and big trucks with posters on helped Guitar Hero III take six and Guitar Hero: On Tour occupy seven.

Then came Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games, although they’re not - the title is misleading. Wall-E, the speechless robot, fell to nine as movie popularity dwindled, and the chart was rounded out by Brain Training at 10.

This week waves goodbye to Guitar Hero: Aerosmith and Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08.

And that’s about it.

1. Wii Fit (Wii)
2. Soulcalibur IV (Xbox 360, PS3)
3. Mario Kart Wii (Wii)
4. Big Beach Sports (Wii)
5. Wii Play (Wii)
6. Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, PS2, PC, DS)
7. Guitar Hero: On Tour (DS)
8. Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games (Wii, DS)
9. WALL-E (PC, Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PSP, Wii, DS)
10. Dr Kawashima’s Brain Training (DS)
11. LEGO Indiana Jones (PC, Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PSP, Wii, DS)
12. Kung Fu Panda (PC, Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, Wii, DS)
13. Beijing 2008 (PC, Xbox 360, PS3)
14. Carnival: Funfair Games (Wii)
15. Sports Party (Wii)
16. More Brain Training (DS)
17. Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii)
18. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Xbox 360, PS3, PC, DS)
19. Battlefield: Bad Company (Xbox 360, PS3)
20. FIFA 08 (Xbox 360, PS3, PC, Wii, PS2, DS, PSP)
21. Grand Theft Auto IV (PS3, Xbox 360)
22. The Simpsons Game (Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PSP, Wii, DS)
23. Ben 10: Protector of Earth (Wii, DS, PS2, PSP)
24. Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 (Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PC, DS, PSP)
25. SEGA Superstars Tennis (Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, Wii, DS)
26. Need For Speed ProStreet (PC, Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PSP, Wii, DS)
27. Mario Kart DS (DS)
28. Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 (Wii, DS)
29. LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, DS)
30. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (PS3)
31. New Super Mario Bros. (DS)
32. Top Spin 3 (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii)
33. Sight Training (DS)
34. Puzzler Collection (DS, PSP)
35. WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2008 (Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PSP, Wii, DS)
36. Cooking Mama (DS)
37. Game Party (Wii)
38. Race Driver: GRID (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)
39. Cooking Mama 2 (Wii, DS)
40. Football Manager 2008 (PC, Xbox 360)

You can get any of these game for free simply by visiting this link: Free Games

When John Madden Football was released in 1988, no one had any idea that it was the beginning of one of the best-selling series of all time. But after 20 years, tens of millions of copies sold, countless tournaments, and even a TV show, Madden is a global phenomenon. When you purchase a Madden game, you know you’re going to be the beneficiary of 20 years of experience. Fine-tuned gameplay, top-notch player animation, extraordinarily detailed playbooks, and competitive multiplayer are all series staples. This year’s Madden is just what you’d expect: It doesn’t take a whole lot of chances with the formula that has proven so successful in the past. Improvements such as the additions of Cris Collinsworth as a commentator and a backtrack feature that points out and helps correct your mistakes make for a great football experience. However, there are quite a few issues that keep Madden 09 from reaching its full potential, such as disappointing online leagues and mostly unchanged Franchise and Superstar modes.

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.

Madden 09 has a number of features designed to address the steep learning curve associated with the series. This year’s game is clearly one of the most user-friendly versions in recent years, but unfortunately, beginners will still probably have a tough time learning the ropes, in spite of these new features. If you throw an interception or take a bad sack, Cris Collinsworth will break down the play for you and explain not only what you did wrong, but what you should have done instead. Collinsworth’s analysis during these backtrack segments is startlingly accurate and useful–it’s just a shame these moments occur at random. It would have been nice to call them up at any time. Another useful yet controversial addition is the ability to rewind plays and try them again. This is a great way to help you learn from your mistakes and it’s nice to have a do-over if you get cheesed by the CPU, but it takes self-control not to rewind anytime you make a bad play. Rewinding a buddy’s touchdown is also a surefire way to prematurely end your friendship.

When you first boot the game, a virtual Madden that looks just like R2-D2’s projection of Princess Leia in Star Wars appears onscreen to administer a Madden IQ test. This test takes place in a VR simulator and consists of running, passing, tackling, and pass-coverage drills. The game will adjust its difficulty based on the results of this test. This process is a good idea in theory, but it doesn’t work. The offensive drills are so easy that it’s possible for first-timers to score well enough that the test results indicate they should play a mixture of all-pro and all-Madden difficulties. The defensive drills are a little more accurate, but this only serves to highlight how difficult it is to play defense in the game. Your IQ will fluctuate based on your performance during games, but it takes so long to balance out your IQ that you’re better off manually setting the difficulty to rookie and using the simplified playbooks if you’re a beginner. The simple playbooks combined with Collinsworth’s backtrack analysis are a step in the right direction when it comes to making Madden more accessible to casual players, but more work needs to be done before these newcomers truly feel welcome. A manual or in-game documentation that explains all of the game’s features would be great, as would some sort of in-game glossary. How many people who don’t watch football every week know what a “cover 2″ is anyway?

There are a number of gameplay enhancements that make Madden 09 play better than 08. The ability to bluff plays from the line of scrimmage lets you view your play and then display fake routes to mislead your opponent. You can also quickly call audibles without changing your formation and inadvertently tipping off the other player. Another excellent addition is that you can now tell individual receivers to run smart routes on third down. This will ensure that they don’t stop their routes short of the first-down marker. It would be nice if receivers were smart enough to adjust on their own, but at least the smart-route option is available. On the defensive side of the ball, you can spotlight a receiver. This puts an extra player on a receiver to ensure double coverage on the play. By no means does it render that receiver a nonfactor, but it’s now a great way of slowing down an opponent who passes to the same guy over and over again. The only problem with the number of pre-snap adjustments is that it’s near impossible to perform many of them when you’re on defense due to the short amount of time between when you come out of the play-calling screen and when the ball is snapped. Sure, there are Madden savants out there who can call an audible, shift the line, highlight a receiver, tell the left outside linebacker to spy on the QB, and fake a blitz in five seconds, but most people can’t.

Just as there are plenty of good things to talk about with regard to 09’s gameplay, there are some problems worth mentioning. Slants and crossing routes are exceedingly difficult to defend against. The linebackers who could snag almost any ball out of thin air last year were annoying, but so is watching a lousy QB and below-average tight end pick you apart like they’re Peyton Manning and Dallas Clark. It’s not all fun and games for QBs and receivers though. Quarterbacks will frequently overthrow passes in the flat so that they lead receivers right out of bounds or receivers will get stuck in an animation and, head to the sidelines, lose yards, or run right into a tackler. This is a huge problem in Superstar mode when running screen plays. The more you play the more you’ll notice the sometimes questionable AI. CPU-controlled teams might not opt for an onsides kick when they’re down by a few points with no time-outs and less than two minutes on the clock. Officiating is also hit or miss. Referees typically ignore holding and are often inaccurate when spotting the ball, and booth reviews are a total crapshoot–you never know what the ruling is going to be. Other nagging issues include sometimes horrific tackling, occasionally inept blocking, unstoppable quarterback sneaks, and play-action’s utter lack of effectiveness against the CPU.

Yep, you made a mistake. Now let Cris Collinsworth tell you what you did wrong.

Series fans have been clamoring for online leagues for years, and this is the first year the mode has been included. Well, sort of. Yes, you and up to 31 other players can form a league and play against one other whenever you like, regardless of how many games other participants have played. In that sense there are online leagues; it’s just that they aren’t any good. You can’t fill out the league with CPU-controlled teams, so if you’ve got only three friends to play with, you’re left with a four-person league. There is a draft, but it’s an autodraft that selects players based on your predraft rankings. Again, having just a handful of players hampers the experience because everyone in the league will get awesome players. There aren’t a whole lot of weaknesses a defense can focus on when the opposition’s fifth-best receiver is Pro-Bowler Anquan Boldin. The default settings don’t even allow for player statistics to be tracked (stat-tracking is curiously tied to the unexplained “unique rosters” setting). When you consider how full-featured Electronic Arts’ own NCAA Football 09’s online dynasty is (although it has its own problems), it’s puzzling that Madden’s online leagues are so lacking. At least online gameplay generally performs well. We had some frustrating problems with the kick meter not recognizing our input, but for the most part, the action was extremely smooth and lag was never an issue.

overall Gamespot score: 8/10

Have you ever wondered how the princess locked away in the castle must feel? Or what’s going through the head of the eager hero–the valiant young man who gladly leapt over treacherous pits and onto the heads of dangerous foes–after receiving a cursory kiss on the cheek for risking his hide? The motivations of these archetypical characters are rarely explored, but Braid tries to answer these oft-ignored questions. It serves as the contemplative companion to the typical Mario adventure while embracing the unbridled fun found in the best platformers. Clever gameplay mechanics are the driving force, pushing you toward your inevitable confrontation with the woman you’ve lost, but it’s the engrossing story that cements this as something really special.

Braid is the rare game that will make you rack your brain trying to solve puzzles one minute while challenging you to come to terms with its mature tale the next. The plot is succinctly summarized before you enter the first world: Tim, the hero, has made a mistake that cost him his love; now, he has to rescue his lost princess from an evil monster. The story, told through books before each of the six worlds, chronicles Tim’s ruminations on the subjects eating away at him. These could be labeled poetic or sappy–depending on your level of cynicism–but they add powerful context to the running and jumping action that follows.

The story in Braid is far from typical.

Tim’s thoughts often drift toward changing the past, which ties in nicely with the time-shifting mechanics you’ll be employing throughout the entire adventure. Your standard ability allows you to rewind time with the push of a button. The most basic use of this is simply pushing back time to avoid being killed by an enemy or reattempting a mistimed jump, but it goes much deeper than replaying failed opportunities. However, there are green objects and enemies in the world that are unaffected by your time changing powers. So if you unlock a green door and rewind time, it will remain open. Your ability to control time is used in many unexpected and often brilliant ways, making you use parts of your brain that are rarely tapped during most puzzle games.

Later levels retain this basic mechanic but add unique twists that ensure every world feels completely different. Which time manipulation tool you are given depends on what world you’re currently exploring. In the fourth world, you control time simply by walking. Every step forward pushes objects and enemies forward in time, while moving backward takes them into the past with you. Because these levels have enemies and items that move in direct relation to you, they have been meticulously constructed to make navigation possible. In another world, you make a copy of yourself every time you rewind time. Your shadow can jump on enemy heads, pull switches, and unlock doors; you just have to perform the action yourself first. The different solutions built around these powers vary widely, so you have to figure out the extent of your powers before you happen upon the always logical solution. Though the puzzles are formidable, Braid never frustrates.

Each of the first five worlds in Braid has 12 different puzzle pieces to collect. The levels are actually extremely short, so if you wanted, you could run through most of the game in little more than 15 minutes, but you’ll have to collect all 60 of the deviously placed pieces if you want to see the poignant conclusion. The entire game should take more than six hours to finish, depending on your puzzle-solving acumen. It may seem unfair to ask you to collect every little piece to see the thrilling ending, but by encouraging you to tackle the most challenging puzzles, the game is ultimately much more rewarding than it would have been otherwise. Though the game only forces you to backtrack during one very early puzzle, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to nab every piece the first time you play through the worlds. It is only after mastering your abilities and learning your limitations that you’ll be able to conquer the puzzles that seemed impossible your first time through.

Most of the puzzles in Braid emphasize clever thinking over quick reflexes. The actions you’re required to pull off should be second nature if you’ve ever jumped on goomba heads in the past. Braid certainly realizes that its running and jumping encounters feel an awful lot like Super Mario Bros.–there are clever references to the venerable plumber throughout the game. From the dangerous plants coming out of pipes to the flag pole that greets you at the end of every world, there are constant reminders of Braid’s progenitor. Like the musings from Tim’s books before each level, these homages tie into the overarching story of the wounded hero’s subconscious longings.

That key was at the bottom of the pit a moment ago.

The subtle visuals are eye-catching but never distracting. The world looks like it was composed with pastel watercolors, swirling blends that create a very distinct look. The characters themselves–Tim, his enemies, and the princess–stand out prominently against the serene, multilayered backdrop. They’re like flat, cardboard cutouts colored by markers. The score is elegant and mild–quiet songs that mirror the deliberate pacing. The music bends with the time, racing forward and backward along with your actions. Braid’s presentation is uniformly impressive, and serves to complement the gameplay rather than draw focus away it.

It is impossible to ignore Braid’s price point. At 1,200 Microsoft points ($15), it is one of the most expensive games for the Xbox Live Arcade service. But do not let a few extra dollars deter you from an exemplary experience that can rival many full-price, retail games. Braid is worth every penny. The captivating ending sequence, which makes use of your rewind ability in a jaw-dropping new way, provides the exclamation point on this remarkable game, but the adventure is consistently engaging throughout the entire ride. The clever puzzles alone are enough to make this an adventure worth taking. Braid’s deep and mesmerizing tale is evergreen: it is outside of and beyond time. It will never get old.

Score: 9.5/10!

Recently questioned about his Smash philosophy by Ninty pres Iwata, Sakurai explained that he approaches each new instalment as if it were the last. Sounds like glum fatalism, doesn’t it?

Thankfully Sakurai is no glass-half-empty fellow; he simply takes this as motivation to make his declaration of Ninty-love as potent as possible. If he’s going out, he’s going out with a bang, and if he’s going out with Brawl, he’s going out with the mother of all bangs.

An empty arena. Four fighters enter. They bash one another to ramp up damage. The greater the damage, the further they fly when hit. Hitting them from the arena wins the fight. That’s Smash Bros.

Has been since the N64 original. It’s a fighting game unlike any other: where the focus isn’t on panicked health depletion, but a spiralling of damage; where you’re as able to hide as fight; where you’re only ever dead for four seconds before you’re back in the fray; where everyone who’s had their ass handed to them by Street Fighter can come and feel safe.

Or rather, feel safe if they want to feel safe. Want to tackle Brawl as a technical fighter? You’re more than welcome to. Shields, evasive rolls, smash attacks and all manner of items add layer upon layer to potential strategies, until you’re left with an experience just as suited to championship level play as your Soul Caliburs and Tekkens.

With each new instalment come a few tweaks here and there, putting the devout Smash fans on edge as they prey for no game-breaking additions. Deep sigh of relief, then.

Brawl is a nippy experience. Any one second can see Fox McCloud firing across the screen as Peach leaves light trails with a searing beam sword, and Pikachu and Mario arc off your telly after a close encounter with an enraged Bob-Omb.

Close your eyes for a second - an unwise strategic choice - and when you open them you’ll see Fox struck with a Peach-lobbed sword, while she gobbles up health restoring snacks, oblivious to the lightning strike a respawned Pikachu is about to release on her.

Snap, crackle and pop

Hectic? Absolutely. But it’s more visual clutter than unneeded gameplay fat, with blame resting mainly on new items. Take the smart bomb, for example. Creating an ever-growing flaming orb - great for group attacks - it can frazzle unwitting fighters before they even know its been lobbed.

Then there’s the cracker launcher - the first Smash Bros weapon you can manually aim. Firing flowering fireworks, it can be hard to see what’s hitting what, but it’s no great price for pursuing a flying foe with a stream of aimed hits.

Interestingly, what looked to be a guaranteed game-muddler in Sakurai’s website write-ups has turned out to be great focusing device: the final smashes. Yes, in action these uber-attacks are complete visual bullies - the camera zooms in to your flaming form to indicate that the ‘you show’ is just beginning and, for the other three players tuning in, a whole world of pain awaits.

Pikachu turning into a screaming electro-ball or Fox driving the Landmaster Tank not only show off Brawl’s most extravagant visual excesses, but see even experienced players buffeted around like a kitten in a tumble dryer. How, then, do these moves tighten things up?

It’s all in the chase. A final smash is yours for breaking the final smash icon: catnip for Brawlers. So beneficial are these moves that all fighters gun for them. Dash, leap, pummel, throw, kick; whatever you do, get to it first.

It’s as close to an in-game objective as Smash Bros has ever had, and the results are comic brilliance. A heaving pile of Nintendo mascots chasing such an innocuous item reminds us of madcap Looney Tunes; and with a heavy shunt dislodging the icon out of the successful grabber, the silliness doesn’t abate until the move is activated and a 15ft Bowser or super-charged Diddy Kong are tearing everyone a new one.

Disappointments? The stages, slightly. Visually? No complaints. Whether weaving through intergalactic dogfights or soaking up the cool ambiance of Animal Crossing, these are artistic delights.

It’s the lack of sizeable or ‘concept’ arenas that irks - like Melee’s rotating Brinstar Depths or the Big Blue. In fact, Sakurai’s inclusion of such original Melee stages only draws your attention to the lack of innovation elsewhere.

A clump of three platforms floating through Ninty sights may please the fanboy in us; the fact that stage-specific tactics pay the price worries the Smash fanatic in us.

And then there’s the roster. The ‘everything but the kitchen sink’ approach to development pays off brilliantly elsewhere, but has left a bloated cast that struggles to hide the basic character types each fighter boils down to.

Signature moves aside, it’s hard to see where Dedede differs from Bowser, and if Link, Ike and Pit weren’t programmed by the same guy, we’ll eat our sword flurry.

In fairness, a few neat hybrids impress. Pit combines the ferocity of Link with Peach’s awesome flight range, and between his three ‘mon the Pokémon Trainer delivers the greatest hits of Kirby, Bowser and Yoshi.

The arrival, too, of a few wildcards equally baffle and delight - we have no idea if Olimar is the best thing since sliced Pikmin or a total crash-landing of a character. Shame, though, to find the ranks of hard-fought-for secret characters populated by clones, or for the Melee faces that didn’t make the Brawl cut.

A perfect formula?

Moan, moan, moan, eh? Don’t get us wrong, from our very first fight we knew that Brawl was the Wii’s premier multiplayer - it reveals just how much crap we’ve been taking from Mario Strikers all this time - but we wanted to see if it could be more.

Something different. Repetition is Brawl’s only real crime, but this is the curse of Smash Bros. After all, how do you revolutionise what is, arguably, a perfect formula? The answer is beyond us, and it would seem, slightly beyond Sakurai.

If you were going to make the mother of all changes, surely they would arrive on the console that is the mother of all hardware changes? Instead we find Smash Bros stubbornly sitting on Wii, only really making use of enhanced graphical power and a handful of Wi-Fi options.

Wi-Fi has so far eluded us; the humble Wii throwing a fit every time we try to squeeze a Japanese link-up through the USB dongle. We managed to boot up the spectator mode - where you watch another online game and bet on the outcome - but were put off when our ’sure thing’ Samus got well and truly pwned by Olimar. What a gyp.

In your hands

Controls are an issue, too. Vertical remote is no substitute for classic controller or - our pad of choice - the GameCube pad. The D-pad is no match for an analogue stick and the button-starved design means that no matter how you calibrate, a key action will be relegated to the unreachable minus button.

The nunchuk and remote are button-friendlier, but the lack of a second analogue stick removes quick access to smash attacks - powerful hits performed with a quick directional jab paired with the attack button, wisely mapped onto the C-stick in Melee. And maybe it’s the muscle memory from playing Melee, but for the first time on Wii, hands apart just doesn’t feel right.

Hardware aside, the grandest innovation is undoubtedly the Subspace Emissary - a standalone single player experience. Ever seen Cannonball Run? In it, 15 then-famous actors dash across the US.

It’s a narrative mish-mash and bloated as hell. We’re pretty sure Subspace is a remake. Mother’s Lucas pairs with Pokémon Trainer, Diddy Kong gets punched in the face and we’ll leave you to find out what fate befalls Olimar’s beloved Pikmin in a laugh-out-loud encounter with someone’s boot.

Its strengths? Barking mad cutscenes and some lovely retro boss battles - even though these scraps feel like reskinned versions of the classic mode’s Master Hand encounter. As a platformer it’s not great.

He may have left HAL, but Sakurai’s days as Kirby’s dad are felt in the dull level design and unnecessarily tricksy warp door antics. Kirby’s platforming smarts never matched Mario’s; Miyamoto should have helped with these bits.

Also, using as it does the control mechanics of the fights, you have to manoeuvre tricky platforming segments with controls designed for arena combat. Bad idea.

Are we looking a gift horse in the mouth?

They didn’t have to give us Subspace, and it’s not like anything was removed to make room for it. And at eight hours it’s quite sizeable - though the second half cheekily regurgitates past levels.

And there’s an undeniable thrill from seeing these Nintendo legends interact in this bizarre manner - though this is a tad undermined when the true hero of the piece is revealed to be of non-Nintendo origins. This ‘legends’ angle leads us nicely to the ace up Sakurai’s sleeve: the element that best reveals his ‘last Smash Bros ever’ philosophy.

We’ve never seen such a comprehensive shrine to one company. Brawl is an archive of Nintendo wonderment that you unearth by playing an immensely satisfying fighter. The iconography of Nintendo is cemented in the characters, the stages, the collectible trophies (hundreds), the stickers and the retro demos.

And the sounds? You cannot imagine the effort that has gone into this: experimental compositions of classic themes, orchestral revivals of forgotten tunes and pieces you’ve never heard before that win you over in an instant; you could purchase Brawl as a music album and be perfectly content.

Brawl is everything that makes Nintendo culture great: the characters, the humour, the heritage. Want to show someone why you’ve stuck by Ninty all these years? Show them a portly plumber chasing a green dinosaur with a massive hammer.

But Brawl also represents Nintendo as a company. Returning to your stock franchises guarantees games a heritage like no other; likewise it shackles you to old ways. Brawl is sublimely tuned and inexhaustible in its attempts to make you happy, but it’s not new. But this is by no means the end of the world. Sakurai is saving his masterpiece for that one.

Score = 9.3/10

Beijing 2008 Review  - 3/10

Who knew qualifying for the Olympics could be so difficult? Instead of a worldwide competition crafted around ideas that fit in with the modern gaming landscape, this is just an archaic compilation of mostly old, painful gameplay techniques that wore out their welcome decades ago. Not only do many of Beijing’s events focus on the sadistic control method of rapidly tapping two buttons until your fingers burn, but the unfathomable difficulty of the early rounds makes the experience almost as grueling as training for the real thing. The few redeeming elements only squirt a few drops of perfume on the overwhelming stench of the rest of this game.

Though all 36 events in Beijing 2008 have some problem, the biggest issue is the ridiculous attributes system you use to level up your team during the qualifying rounds. For some reason, you control a group of athletes who are slow, weak, and embarrassingly out of shape. By winning qualifying events, you can pump points into categories such as power, speed, and stamina. This is in sharp contrast to real life, where competitors show up to the games fully prepared to face off against the best in the world. If you fail to achieve the goal for the day (such as placing in three of the five chosen events), you are branded a failure and have to start that day all over again. Since you are athletically inferior to all of your opponents, you’ll find yourself bringing up the rear over and over again.

Bringing up the rear again in hurdles.

Every event in Beijing 2008 that involves racing is agonizing. The 11 swimming and running events all require you to repeatedly slam on the buttons to gain speed, which is not only painful but fairly unresponsive as well. Anything that requires pure speed–such as the 100-meter dash–is nearly impossible. After you take your mark, you’ll have to anxiously wait for the starter pistol to blast before you can begin. The problem is, there are no audio or visual indicators to tell you when the gun will fire. You have to keep count in your head, which means you will often find yourself starting well after the rest of the pack or suffering a disqualification for jumping too soon. Cycling has the honor of being the worst of the included racing challenges. You have to rotate both analog sticks for more than four consecutive minutes, a technique that is the polar opposite of fun.

Other sports have their real-life depth completely stripped away, replaced with a mediocre rhythm game. Most of the gymnastics program suffers from this insultingly simple mechanic, making them not only far too easy for anyone familiar with the genre, but extremely repetitive as well. There are only three different routines (easy, medium, and hard), so there is little reason to partake in these endeavors more than a couple times. The high jump is a mirror image of the floor exercise, which shows how ill-advised this control scheme is. The diving events ask you to spin the analog sticks to match the balls circling your diver. Not only is this extremely tedious, it in no way captures the extreme focus needed by real-life competitors. These shallow excursions are so distant from the real thing it’s almost laughable.

Even the tutorial is a failure in Beijing 2008. The rules of judo are never explained, so you’ll have to figure out on your own what terms such as “yuko” and “ippon” mean. Not that it matters much–you’ll just be matching directional arrows most of the time. The skeet-shooting tutorial tells you to pull the trigger to fire but never explains how to actually hit the clay pigeon. You’ll have to figure out on your own that you have to swing your gun while you fire and, unlike in real life, you’re not supposed to lead the target. The pathetic learning tools make these simple events overly complicated.

There are some events that are utterly impossible even after you learn the necessary strategies and level up your athlete. Kayak is a cruel joke. You have no control over your tiny watercraft. Even if you somehow manage to pass through the appropriate gate, the game often won’t register your success. Table tennis is just as pointless. Your giant body covers up an insanely high percentage of the table, making it impossible to see the ball if it’s coming directly at you. A higher camera angle or translucent character would have fixed this problem, but in its current form, it’s painfully bad.

The pole vault requires rapid button presses, too!

For all the gameplay faults in Beijing 2008, at least the graphics are fairly sharp. The athletes are large, detailed, and animated well enough to make you believe for a moment that someone really is running a 15-second 100-meter dash in real life. The pre- and postevent replays and posturing by the competitors shows off their fine detail, but the monotony of seeing the same canned animations every time only makes this superfluous eye candy another annoyance. Having to tap buttons during the competitions is bad enough; doing it before and after every event merely to skip through the worthless extras is just excruciating.

If you enjoy laughing at others’ failures, there is a modicum of fun to be had in the multiplayer mode. Either online or off, you can choose exactly which events you wish to compete in; but like everything else in this game, this comes with its own drawbacks. The majority of these events are turn-based, so you’ll spend most of your time simply watching other people curse and fail. Plus, the game isn’t smart enough to ensure direct competition in one-on-one events. If you play two-player table tennis, you’ll each have to defeat a few computer-controlled opponents before you can square off against each other.

Even if you’re chomping at the bit to compete in these seldom-seen sports, you should still avoid this game. There is not one event that offers a genuinely fun, rewarding experience. Beijing 2008 is horrendous regardless of how many people you’re playing with or what event you’re trying to win.

Gamespot Review: 6/10 

Virtual quizmaster Buzz has been hanging around PlayStation consoles for several years now, but Buzz! Master Quiz is the Muppet look-alike’s first appearance on Sony’s handheld unit. Fans of Buzz’s previous console outings may be wondering how a game so well suited for multiplayer shenanigans translates to a format better known for solo gaming, and the bad news is that the transition hasn’t been that successful. Although there’s some fun to be had for those who desperately need their trivia to go, Buzz! Master Quiz simply feels lacking in both its single- and multiplayer offerings.

Buzz still guides you through most of the games in Master Quiz.

Buzz on consoles mimicked the look and feel of a TV trivia game show to good effect, but Master Quiz on the PSP ditches the game show setting for the most part. The series’ eponymous host is still there guiding you through the various rounds in both single-player and multiplayer, but the gaudy sets, glamorous cohost, and wacky character models are gone. You’ll still have to choose an in-game avatar to represent you in Master Quiz, but the most you’ll ever see of them is their heads. In the various Master Quiz modes you’re usually presented with a question with four possible answers, each one of them mapped to one of the face buttons on the PSP. Press the correct answer and you’ll score points; do it quickly and you’ll score even more.

Just like its console counterparts, the single-player component is fairly bare-bones, with most of the title’s focus being on multiplayer features. That’s to be expected from the home console versions, but it becomes more of a sore point on the PSP, where solo gaming is a more likely occurrence. Master Quiz’s single-player mode consists solely of one set of quizzes which will probably only take you two hours to play through. And since you’re not playing against computer-controlled opponents, the only replay value is in trying to beat your own high scores, which you probably won’t want to do too often.

Buzz has always been a party game at its core , so it’s to developer Relentless’ credit that two of the three multiplayer modes available in Master Quiz can be played using a single PSP. With the Quiz Host mode, one person keeps hold of the handheld and asks questions for up to six players before inputting their scores onto the PSP. There’s some fun to be had here, particularly when the game goes off the trivia path and requires hosts to set minichallenges like seeing which of the players can make the best bird calls, or awarding points to whoever has the biggest feet. Pass Around mode can accommodate up to six people, and requires a group to take turns answering questions using the one PSP. This is the most engaging mode in Master Quiz thanks to some of the clever ways the game lets you play havoc with your opponents’ scores, many of which have been lifted from the console versions of Buzz. The Snapshot round, for example, presents a player with an image. That player can then choose which small section of the image to display before passing it onto the next player, who then has to correctly identify what the original image was. With the Weak Spot round, one player is presented with a question that they then have to pass on to the competitor they feel will struggle to answer it correctly.

The third and final multiplayer mode is a game-sharing one which allows you to play the game on multiple PSPs using only one copy of Master Quiz. Up to four players can join in, and the host sets parameters such as the number of questions, game difficulty, and question category. Sadly, none of the multimedia-based rounds in Master Quiz are available in game sharing–it’s purely straight-up-and-down multiple choice questions to be had. This severely cramps the variety of the game-sharing mode, and you’ll inevitably be left wondering why developer Relentless didn’t include an option for a full-fledged match using multiple PSPs and multiple copies of Master Quiz.

There are supposedly 5,000 questions or so included with Master Quiz, although it only took an hour or so of gameplay before we started encountering repeat questions. Questions span a wide variety of topics ranging from celebrity to science and history to sport, and the difficulty seemed pleasantly varied. The game has spiffy production values, with each question asked in full audio and plenty of multimedia clips included in the package. Buzz himself still looks suspiciously like Sesame Street’s Guy Smiley, and is once again voiced by Aussie soap star Jason Donovan.

Games such as Snapshot make Pass Around the best mode available.

Buzz’s first portable appearance is more hit than miss, as Master Quiz does retain a little of that Buzz charm and fun. But the game’s lackluster multiplayer modes and uninvolving single-player component means the PlayStation 3 (or 2 if you’re sticking with the old console) is still the best place to get your trivia fix.